Warning: Sarcasm

Since it's been coming up lately, I'm going to talk about humor. Cause that's one thing of mine that I know bleeds through into my stories. I try not to let too much other stuff through. I mean sure, my Christian beliefs do, but I try not to harp on denominations and things like that. Or, I had to learn that all my characters couldn't be blond haired, blue eyed and be my age. *sigh* 

But my sense of humor comes through. Sorry. I can't write giddy, giggly, people. If a character is funny, they're going to have a dry, sarcastic, 'borderline' morbid sense of humor. 

I'm a pretty funny person... I guess. I'm one of those people who says something in all honesty and people laugh. It's pretty annoying. 

For instance, I was at a church potluck a couple weeks ago. I had a brownie and life was great. I'd left the kids table and was moving over to where my mom and some other women were sitting when mom asked for a glass of water (Cause that's what moms do). So I set my brownie down and went and got the water and when I came back, my brownie was gone. And I said:

                                   "Someone at this table is going to die."

And the whole table started laughing. Why?? That's not funny at all. I wanted my brownie!

Or when certain people are like "Hey! My bestie forever and ever Maddie!"
And I'm like "Reluctant acquaintance" and they laugh. Why?

My mom says I'm rude, but that doesn't make much sense to me. They laugh. How can it be rude if they don't even know I'm rude??

I find when I'm actually trying to be funny, people just look at me. It's when I'm being dead serious that people start laughing.
I'm notorious for comebacks too.

GUY: "Hey, how did you get off the farm?"
ME: "How did you get out of Juvie?"

 

I kind of live a balancing act sort of life. Half of my family and friends speak my language and we can sit and talk this demented kind of humor for years on end. And then there's the other half...I have to pretend to be boring with them.

They take me way too literally. WAY too literally. Like, do they seriously think I'm going to take the time to vandalize a slumber party using ketchup and mustard?? No way man. I need my sleep.

So when I'm writing and my characters say something like-

Cannon flinched and backed away. Apparently, Tommy couldn't afford a room or a bath. "That's great." He choked. Fumbling in his pocket, he handed him a stick of gum.
Tommy frowned. "What’s that for?"
"The good of mankind." Cannon said dryly.
Tommy glared and swore at him. Cannon shrugged and put the gum away. Gage and Tommy stalked off to the living room.
"You shouldn't have done that." Sophie said quietly.
"Mom, he's an environmental hazard."

Or-
"Jake you cant just sit and brood all the time. You need to get it out or you’ll explode.”
He smiled, completely ignoring the seriousness of the situation. “I’ve always thought explosions were pretty cool.”

Or even-
“Now when the fire ignites,” Darren explained. “Gwen is going to use magic to lift you above it.” He cast Gwen a look and she nodded in agreement. “And you are going to pretend to be the dead soldier’s ghost, and your going to be angry.” 
Seth snorted. “How do you propose to keep me from getting roasted?”
Darren looked at Gwen.
“I can cast a spell to protect you from the heat.” She offered.
Seth nodded reluctantly. “Fine.”
In no time at all the soldiers came into view and the flames sprang up.
Seth turned to Gwen. “If you drop me I’ll…”
“You’ll be dead.”
                                  That's me bleeding through onto the paper.

                                              If I was in those situations,
(had no family to keep me in line, nothing left to lose, magic powers, and was a guy)
                                             those are the things I would say.
I don't have to work hard to make my characters funny. Their sense of humor comes naturally. Sometimes too naturally. I don't know how many times the original character profile says "calm, serious, quiet" and the end result is something like "quiet, sarcastic, thinks the whole world is stupid and not worth his time".
Maybe that's something I need to work on. I'm not sure. People seem to like them, and I do try to mix it up a bit so not all my characters have the same levels of sarcasm and dry humor (there are different levels you know).

 But really, what fun is a world where the only humor comes from knock knock jokes?
    (the answer is no fun. No fun at all. Knock knock jokes suck moose juice) 

 

 

                                                   (I sent this to a guy once)
                                                          (DON'T LAUGH)