Mad Hatter Snippets

Hi guys!

I am so close to finishing The Mad Hatter. I've got them right up to the edge of the cliff, and just need to kick them all off and tie up the loose ends.

As such, I've been in full blown writer mode and hadn't planned a blog post for today. Therefor, you're getting snippets from the story. It's so much easier to copy and paste chunks of story than it is to come up with a whole post.

So here you go. Mad Hatter snippets.

                                    

“Think about all those sci-fi movies you like to watch. No one ever dies. It’s going to be fine.”

I know he’s trying to be reassuring, but I want to remind him that I’m not that naive. “Characters die all the time.”

“But not the main ones.”

“Debatable.” I mutter, thinking back on every secondary character I’ve ever loved and how they’ve been so brutally sacrificed on the altar of entertainment.

***

“Come on mortals. Assemble! I have to remind you of your unfortunate mortality.”

I scowl as our emo companion’s chipper voice cuts through my resolve.

“Kill him.” Matt whispers as I spin to face Malec, and I can’t help but smile.

“We’re very much aware of our mortality, thank you.” I march over to Malec and stand in front of the opening between realms.

Malec takes his hat off and peers inside. “Well, of the three of us, I’m the only one that’s died before, so I thought I’d better go over some ground rules with yous. As your friendboy has never dealt with fae, and you seem bent on your own stubborn destruction, a crash course of fae etiquette seems in order.”

He whips his hat back on and claps his hands together, sending up a puff of glistening blue smoke. “Do not eat anything you see in there. Even if it blatantly tells you to. Even if a cute little butterfly tries to shove it down your throat. Smash the butterfly. Live a bit longer.”

Malec paces in front of us like a teacher at the front of the class. I’d pay to see Malec in my high school classroom.

I must smile because he scowls at me. “Trust no one, kiss no one, don’t ask anyone for anything, give your name, or agree to any conditions. All will end in your untimely death.”

He stops suddenly and stares at us. “Do you understand?”

***

“Careful.” Malec strides past us, brushing at his jacket. “It might bite.”

I cast Matt a quick glance before following him. “What might?”

“Anything. All of it. Take your pick.”

***

“I mentioned the castle.” Malec nods. “And we are going there. But first, we must free the slaves.”

I blink at him under his stove pipe. “Is that an Abraham Lincoln reference?”

“Is that a human reference?” He blinks back at me, and somehow that one simple movement feels condescending.

***

“Sounds like a snowballs chance in Hell.” I mutter.

“Precisely.” Malec spins and walks backwards to face us.

“That’s not a chance, Malec.” I scowl.

“It is if the snowball adapts. The fire may melt the snow, but the snow can put out the fire.”

I don’t think this guy fully grasps the level of inferno that Hell refers too, but I don’t bother spoiling his cute, hope filled metaphor for the moment. He’ll just spout off something equally useless.

Malec faces forward again. “Now that that’s all cleared up, how about we keep moving on.”

I roll my eyes and glance at Matt. “We’re all gonna die.”

***

I muster all of my willpower and point to his shadow that doesn’t match the rest of him. “You haven’t told your secret.”

“Correction. I haven’t told you. Bunny knows, therefor it is no longer a secret. But for the sake of fair play …” He takes his hat off and studies the strange shadow. “I told you I died before this. So you already know the secret in part.”

***

I push and shove and finally haul myself out from under his arm. I heft my sword and try to crawl out of the tangle of limbs without tripping myself. Graceful as the movies. Hollywood talent scouts are going to be lining up at my door when I get home.

***

We’re all gonna die.

I know that as I run toward the chaos.

Those birds and whatever else have obviously killed Bunny, otherwise she would have stopped them. All that’s left is for them to kill Matt.

And I’m going to run right into the fray after him and they’ll get me to.

And Malec—well, Malec will probably live. Because he’s most likely running the opposite direction.

***

Or maybe he just really wants to run into a twenty foot wall. That looks to be his plan.

My plan isn’t much better, because I follow him. He’s right. I do trust him. Despite all of his warnings not to, I trust him to get me to Matt, to get us through whatever fight this is, and then to get us home. I don’t know if I’d exactly call it the bonds of friendship, but I definitely think he’s too clever and arrogant to let anything bad happen.

He’s about three steps from the wall now. I slow up just enough to see if he’s going to smack into it, or if we’re going full blown Harry Potter.

***

Their voices all meld together in agitated white noise as I study both directions of the corridor. Matt’s right. We can’t just wander around and expect to accidentally find our way through this labyrinth. I’ve seen that movie. This trumps anything 1986 cinema could concoct, and there’s a disappointing lack of rock star goblin kings belting out catchy soundtracks. No, we’re not going to stumble our way to the castle on accident.

***

I glance in the direction of the castle, obscured by hedge upon hedge. “I’m not as cute as a Seeing Eye dog, but I’ll have to do.”

***

The sign says “This Way” with arrows pointing both directions. If I do make it to the castle I’m going to wring Avian’s skinny neck for her twisted sense of humor.

Technically the castle lays to our left. But who is to say that the left is going to lead us through? It’s just as likely it leads to a dead end, and the right path winds around to the castle.

But maybe that’s exactly what I’m supposed to think. Maybe the left is actually the right way. Or maybe that’s what I’m supposed to think … it’s really no wonder Malec is insane.

“Left or right?” I glance at Matt.

He shrugs. “I was born and raised a republican. We’re going right wing.”

Because that’s exactly the kind of logic you use to find your way around a magical maze in a faerie world.