Every time I go to the doctor I hear the same thing--no matter what I go there for-- Are You Stressed?
To which I want to respond with a blank stare and a flat "Do you even know me?"
But I usually just say yeah.
For the past several months I've been dealing with some hormone issues, and have been doing a treatment for them, but without any noticeable results, so I googled some natural ways I can help alongside my treatment.
What I found was to take Vitamin C...check.
Take Vitamin D...check.
Take Omega 3s...double check.
And then there it was down at the bottom of the list.
After my initial stressful outburst I decided to give it a try and see what I can do to reduce my stress. Now, I'm no doctor, so please don't take this as gospel.
1. Start the morning off right.
Hit snooze at least eight times. Every time you hit it you're releasing more stress. Take a hot shower. The steam melts away stress as well as your skin.
Feed your bottle lamb. He's happy to see you, and you can't be stressed with a little tail wager like that.
Crawl back into the house and wrap up into a burrito, because you thought you had a fever and chills, but when you took your temperature you were actually legitimately cold. Hypochondriacs don't have stress. They diagnose it and fend it off before it can strike.
2. Get a good scream session in.
Don't like scream at someone. Apparently being screamed at causes some people stress.Who knew?But a good scream into the void, or your pillow should do the trick. Just get it all out.
3. Cry it out.
If screaming doesn't work, there's always the cry session to fall back on. I often tell Jarod that I just need to cry and then I'll feel better. He thinks I'm crazy, but hey, at least crazy isn't stressed.
4. Have a good diet.
This is an excellent time of year to start a good diet. Saint Patrick's Day ushers in so many green colored options--like Mountain Dew cheesecake, and Mountain Dew brownies. Both of which will give you a heart attack, but you'll die happy not stressed, so its a winning situation.
There's also an abundance of Easter candy to be had. Anything that's pastel colored has to reduce stress, I'm certain. Happy colors.
You can also try to make your favorite meals in gluten and dairy free ways, and enjoy their cardboard texture and papery taste without the stress of worrying about your food allergies.
5. Be careful of what you take in.
It's hard to be stress free if the entertainment you're partaking in causes stress. The last book I read had a remarkably happy ending, and it only took me 336 pages of worrying everyone was going to die to get to it.
Having a toddler around helps, because you only watch happy movies. Over and over and over again. Nothing says stress free like watching Pooh Bear for six weeks, and then suddenly switching over to your own childhood favorite. It brings back memories, watching that beloved Disney film play out for the twelfth time in 24 hours.
If you've got your ABCs and 123s down pat and want to move on from Sesame Street, Netflix has you covered. I turned on The Walking Dead yesterday just wanting to watch some mindless zombies walk around grumbling, and was greeted by a lovely episode involving a town full of cannibals.
It made me really appreciate my life. No one is trying to eat me. At least that's one stress I can check off the list.
6. Spend time with friends.
It will take you six months to plan an afternoon trip, and you'll have to save up money for twice that long, but once you finally make it out the door, having rescheduled nine times, it will all be worth it and the stress will just roll off your shoulders.
Or maybe you could forget planning a fun trip and just help someone out. Maybe your husband's aunt has a bull sale coming up and your whole state got flooded and hit with a monster blizzard in the same day. Maybe there's a boatload of work to be done. Dive in and help out. Never mind that everything is different this year and no one knows what to do, and the whole situation is out of control. Just sit back and do your best. You've got a boat in the shed. You can always ferry people across the yard to the barn.
7. Go out and enjoy the weather.
Getting outside is an excellent way to lose some stress. Go out when its -27F. You won't be able to feel the stress at all. Or your toes.
If cold isn't really your thing, wait for some more spring-like weather. You could head out and enjoy your state's first inland hurricane. Or travel a couple hours and get caught in a snowdrift as tall as your house.
Wait a few days and you'll be able to venture out into more rain, and watch without stress as the ruts in the driveway get deeper, and the river keeps on rising.
The outdoors is a wonderful place.
8. Enjoy your hobbies.
You gotta take some time out to have fun. Write a story. Especially one where the story world should be vivid, the characters need purpose, and you don't actually know where the plot is going. Takes all the stress right out of it.
Listen to music, or play it. Happy, upbeat stuff. Nothing that involves screaming, guitar solos, or has a tune that puts you in mind of the drums of war.
Dream about gardening in that plot that is knee deep in mud and has a tree laying in the middle of it.
Enjoy the little things.
9. Get good sleep.
Don't send your husband off to bed because he's so tired he can't stand up and then stay awake with the toddler. Especially not if you're going to realize and hour later that the kid has been asleep in your lap for a while and you somehow went from looking at home décor on Pinterest to weird animal skeletons people have stumbled upon in the woods. It's especially helpful to start your sleep wellness journey during daylight savings time.
10. Just don't be stressed.
It's pretty simple. Just don't do it. Every doctor, chiropractor, and google article has been trying to tell you. Listen to them. Throw away anything that brings you stress. It'll be worth it.
When you're sitting in your nice padded room, with no nasty food, edgy movies, or conflicting schedules, you will look back on all the things that used to stress you and smile, because you've arrived.
I hope this helps someone, or at least gives them a good laugh.
Because laughing is the opposite of stress, and we don't want stress.
Stress causes low hormones, and low hormones cause headaches, and headaches cause stress.