I'm looking at my calendar and realizing that the year is almost over. Say what?? That can't possibly be right. But it is. It's December 16th already, and time just keeps marching forward till it can roll over into a whole new year. Craziness.
Lots of people are saying that 2016 has been the worst year ever. And I would agree with them.
Lots of people are saying that 2016 has been the best year ever. And I would also agree with them.
My estimation of the year is that it has been an uncontrollable roller coaster of the highest highs and the lowest lows. Which, to be fair, most years are, but this one just seemed a bit more...more intense, more monumental, more effective. I feel like this year has kind of been all up in everyone's face, and you better have your hat on tight or you'll get lost in the whirlwind.
The whole year has been kind of like this.
This year has presented some of the most terrifying, challenging aspects I've ever had to face in my life. Dealing with people who don't want you to get married is difficult at best. Dealing with people who want to try and tell you how you should get married, and how you should be when you are married is no fun either. Dealing with people who you've known for years and counted as friends who suddenly decide to run around town telling stories that you're some kind of boyfriend snatching, abusive, promiscuous, piece of white trash was something I never thought I'd be put up to, but that's exactly what 2016 offered. And it wasn't just horrible things like that. It was stress in general. Stress about planning a wedding. Stress about planning a honeymoon. Stress about moving. About living an entirely new sort of life. Managing a home by myself. Bills and finances. And then stress about telling my husband of one month that he's going to be a daddy much, much sooner than we had ever planned on. Stress about telling those people who didn't want us to get married, and most certainly didn't want us to have children right away, that the newly established Wilson clan was growing. Stress about the people who look at your swelling tummy like it's something dirty, when it was obtained in the most innocent and pure way possible, within a marriage that started off pure from the start, but there's no way to prove that and no way to defend it. People will be people. Stress of feeling sick for months on end, only to be replaced by complete exhaustion no matter how much rest you get, and always feeling behind on work because you just cant some days. Stress of feeling like you've somehow failed if supper wasn't perfect and the laundry isn't finished, even though there is no one there to say those things. The food is eaten heartily, and there are clean clothes to wear, but there's still stress. Stress of feeling like you want to cry all the time, or feeling like screaming at someone when they've done absolutely nothing wrong, and you know it, but the feeling is still there like a knot in your stomach. Stress because your body is changing so rapidly, and it doesn't fit into the clothes it used to, and its swelling and bulging in places it normally wouldn't, and feeling completely unattractive and having a hard time believing anything else. Stressing about a living soul growing inside, and how to keep it safe until it gets here, and how to keep it safe after it gets here. It's enough to give a person a headache just typing it all down.
But apart from all the doom and gloom of the terrible year of 2016, the year has held so much joy, and promise, and beauty. So much to be thankful for. I got to start the year off engaged to the person I love most in the entire world. I got to stand in front of four hundred of our family and friends and pledge my love to him for the rest of our lives. I got to put together a house for us, that's not perfect, but its ours. I got to cook him things I know he likes, and have him come home to a clean house and a good movie after a long day of working. I got to ride with him to do chores every Saturday, and sit next to him in church every Sunday. I got to tell him he's going to be a daddy, and see him smile at my tummy before he goes to work. I got to rebuild some of the damage that the stress of having a dating sister/daughter did to my relationship with my family. I got to tell him that he's going to be a daddy, and see him smile at my tummy before he leaves in the morning, and tell my mom that she's going to have a grandson. I got to see my baby stretch and yawn on a screen in front of me. I got to see his tiny fingers and toes. I got to work at a job that I can do, and save up money for our future, and turn in a resignation from that job so that I can be home with our little bundle in the new year that's coming. I got to grow closer to the friends that I do have. I got to share their joy as they are starting new lives of their own. The nation got another chance at taking our freedoms here seriously. I got to have a new second cousin come into the world. And find out about another one on the way, when before there was heartache over one lost. I've got to spend time with my friends and family, and meet the new family I've acquired. I've got to see God working in my and the people around me's lives in an amazing way.
So, yes. It's been a hard year. But good has come from it. I've learned. I've grown. I've matured. And it's opened up a whole new box of opportunities for next year.
