Cactus!

Hi guys!! 

So, yes, I've been gone awhile. I do have an excuse to make up for four of the days I was gone though. 

I flew to Arizona.

Yes. 

Me, who watched six seasons of LOST and swore I would never fly, got in a plane and went across the country to Arizona.

So, obviously, this post is to tell you guys all about whether or not I survived.

The whole point of the trip was to go to Jarod's dad's wedding. So on Thursday morning we took off for the airport three hours away. The whole idea of security terrified me, and I've never packed so little in my life. I was just certain I'd end up over the weight limit, or throw something in that would get me put in jail. You know, fingernail clippers are so heinous.

Anyway, it turned out to not be that big of a deal. Threw my shoes and purse in a box and let it roll down the belt, and I didn't even have to go through the metal detector. Not sure why. Must be my extreme look of innocence.

Anyway, we were one of the last ones to board the plane and when we got in I was instantly terrified that I wouldn't be able to sit with Jarod, but an awesome lady traded spots with me so I could sit by him. Good thing too, because I needed my hand held most of the way and I don't think the wife across from me would have liked me clinging to her hubby.

Take off freaked me out. Like, Jarod's driving scares me. Flooring a plane right off the ground was scary. I didn't get nauseous, but the pressure really messed me up. I felt like I had a stuffy nose, and about twenty minutes into the flighty I lost hearing. I had been chewing gum, and my ears were popping, but apparently not good enough, because I couldn't hear anything, and my broken ear drum hurt like crazy. It took Jarod till we got to Arizona to notice that the blank look I kept giving him every time he opened his mouth meant that I didn't have any clue what he was saying. Then he told me to plug my nose and blow. Talk about freaky when you can suddenly hear an airplane engine.

Besides that the flight was alright.  I had an isle seat, so I couldn't see the wings shaking every time we hit turbulence.

I did not like landing. Too much dropping, way too fast, and reversing the engines about snapped my neck.

Had no problem finding my bags, and pretty much stayed glued to Jarod the whole way out.

There was a gentleman named Abraham getting us our rental car and he was fascinated by the cowboy gear Jarod wearing. Yes sir, he does dress like that every day.

We landed in Phoenix, and getting out on a six lane one way interstate was interesting. Jarod wasn't old enough to drive the car, so his aunt had to. It was scary, but she did good and we survived the trip to Tucson.

Let me just state for the record, that there ain't jack to see in Arizona. Like it's cool for a few minutes, but once you've seen a mountain and a cactus, there is nothing else new. They all look the same. And that is all there is. Acres of cactus and scrub brush. And instead of landscaping, the cities are just built around the clumps of cactus. So much wasted space. It's no wonder those cities are huge.

We stopped at a burger joint that Jarod swears was fantastic but....

Did you know men in Arizona wear capris with leggings underneath them? True fact. And flannel pajama pants are totally acceptable to wear with leather jackets.

We missed the turn to go to his dad's house, so Jarod said to just go straight. A few miles later he said he had no idea where we were, he was just assuming we could go straight. Technically, yes, we were physically able to go straight. Straight to nowhere. Turned around and eventually made it there.

Nice little brown houses that look identical with matching cactus landscapes in the front yard.

Jarod immediately latched onto his dog Jake, and the dog must have remembered him because he stayed in his lap for four days.

First night I woke up at four. Which was five my normal time. Couldn't sleep, so I texted Jarod out in the camper in the back yard. He's not a morning person. He was not thrilled.

Friday we walked around the yard and looked at all the different cactus'. The pool was full, but it was only fifty degrees and not very appealing. In the afternoon we headed off to the wedding. Me and Jarod were banned from any preparations which suited us, so we roamed around the golf resort and looked at the palm trees and cactus'. The mountains go all the way around Tucson, but the cactus and buildings and trees blocked most of my pictures.

For some reason being at a wedding made us both sentimental mushy fluff balls. It was great.

The wedding was nice, and the bride had a stargazer come so me and Jare spent a good part of the evening looking at planets with the certified nerd running the telescope. There were family pictures, and we ate, and then they had a dance. The bride finally convinced Jarod to dance with me, because I couldn't get him to stop talking about pickups with his old neighbors. She taught me to two step, and his dad tried to teach him. Must not have worked because when we danced together it was ridiculous but lots of fun. Then we turned to zombies and tried to stay awake and finally dad told his aunt to take us home.

Saturday Jarod's grandpa drove up from the border town Rio Rico and we ate at Ihop. The dude was hilarious, and we had tons of fun. Dinner turned into a three hour gab fest. I ate all my food without Jarod stealing any. It was a successful venture.

We were supposed to drop off a rental movie on the way back, but Jarod forgot till we got home and he insisted he couldn't go with us, but that we could. His exact words were "Go down and take that little bumpy road. It's called Sumpter, or summer, sumner..something, and it goes by that school you know, and then get into the safeway." And he left.

Well we missed the Sumter road and made a u turn in the cactus. There was no school. Turns out Safeway is a store. And the movie goes in  a kiosk inside. Me and Rosie took selfies in case we got lost and died, they would be able to identify us and know we looked fab till the end. On the way home we pulled over in the cactus and took pictures of us and the mountains.

Once we had been home for ten minutes I texted the master navigator who was working on a little road ranger out back and asked him where the movie went. He called rather freaked out wondering where I was. He hung up when I said the living room.

Me and Jarod watched Minions in the evening and talked like little yellow pills for a good while.

We ate way too much and moved way too little.

There is nothing to do there. Look at cactus'. Watch Green Bay Packers lose the game. Try not to get too happy because the future father in law was devastated about it. *victory dance*

Got up early Sunday morning and packed all the gear outside and headed back to Phoenix. I had to go through the metal detector that time, and that scared the tar out of me. The lady was like "relax. Honey relax. PUT YOUR ARMS DOWN."

I got a window seat this time, and Jarod and Rosie got to sit with me. So I took pictures of all the states. Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Kansas, and home sweet home. Kansas was entirely under clouds though and it looked like we were over Antarctica. Jarod was practically in my lap looking out the window. We were both like excited little kids pointing at stuff and pestering his aunt to look too.

I was slightly less freaked out about the return flight, but I still hate every time the plane turns. It feels like we're gonna roll over and plummet to my death. The scenery is great till you imagine smacking into it.

You know, you think roads are fairly logical, and relatively square in where they go. They're not. They just go everywhere and criss-cross and they make absolutely no sense when you actually see where they are.

I thought fifties in Arizona was chilly, but it was two degrees when I got home so I guess not. No coat of course. So we froze out for several miles, then warmed up and got ice cream. Because that is how we roll.

I kind of wanted to hammer down for home, but we ended up stopping to look at some trucks that were for sale. We didn't want to buy them guys, we just wanted to look at them and admire their beauty. That's what I was told anyway.

So that concludes the story of the trip. I did have a lot of fun, even though I never want to see another cactus again. I wouldn't ever want to live there, but it was definitely worth the trip to go see.

Farewell!