Today we are totally detouring away from anything book or writing related, and we're going to talk about me instead.
When I was around sixteen I suddenly developed eczema, after never having it before. Long story short, I went to a series of doctors who told me all kinds of things, like change my detergent, use lotion, take more vitamins, use this steroid cream for the rest of your life, and stop using soap.
I live on a farm. You know that right? I can't just...STOP using soap.
There was also that one really helpful doctor who said it will never go away and there's absolutely nothing you can do about. Thank you.
A couple months ago though, I found a doctor who thought the eczema outbreaks might be a delayed food allergy reaction, so we did blood work and a food panel and tested me for allergies to 98 common foods.
Sure enough, my blood work showed that I was definitely reacting to something.
Now, I love food. I love cooking, eating, pinning it on Pinterest, the works. So when a doctor tells me I'm allergic to something I'm eating, I went into panic mode. Which food was he going to tell me? The horror.
Turns out I'm allergic to dairy. Like, basically all of it. Except mozzarella cheese. I don't know what mozzarella did to be kicked out of the Abuse Maddie club, but he isn't in it. So out goes my morning glass of milk, cheddar bites, grilled cheese, all things wonderful.
I'm also allergic to every type of grain, as well as gluten. I'm not allergic to corn though, which is a relief because I live in Nebraska.
So, the doctor's plan is for me to completely go cold turkey off all those foods for two months, and see if that clears up my skin at all.
It. Has. Been. Torture.
I thought at first it might not be too hard. Stop drinking milk, skip the bread on hamburgers. But no, it's in everything. Meatloaf has bread, milk, and cheese in it, and it tastes like garbage without it.
Tacos without cheese or sour cream, on nasty corn tortillas are miserable things. What is the actual point of chili if you can't eat it with cheese, crackers, and cornbread? The answer: There is no point.
Basically, I'm going to shrivel up to nothing and starve to death, because I don't know what to cook. Gluten free recipes still use dairy. Dairy free recipes use wheat. Grain free recipes are full of sugar, which I'm not supposed to have either.
I need Paleo, Vegan, Keto, sugar free recipes, all rolled up into one, essentially. Here's the deal. You can't take the sugar, dairy, grains, and gluten out of a recipe and have anything left.
Which leaves plain meats, fruits, and vegetables.
But get this, I'm allergic to more.
Honey, and cinnamon. Eggplant. Green beans. (Why? That's literally the only vegetable Jarod will even eat, and I'm allergic to it.) Also, oranges, lemons, grapefruit, and pineapple.
I love pineapple. Why must I be allergic to it?