To Be Continued

Hi guys!

As you’ve probably noticed, I haven’t been around here much (at all). Sorry about that.

Rather than keep you waiting, this is my official announcement that I’m going on a blogging hiatus. My brain just isn’t doing well right now, and rather than write complete garbage blog posts, I’d rather just pause and come back with fresh energy later. 

You can still keep up with my updates on social media, and I’ll see you guys soon. 

Hello October

Hello everyone! 

I can’t believe it’s already October. I thought I was so ready for fall, but it’s 48° outside. Two days ago it was 90°. I can’t handle changes that drastic. Especially when I have nothing to wear! 

I’m not a sweatpants kind of person. I think I own one pair. But I’m also in a weird stage where maternity jeans don’t fit well enough to stay up, and my regular jeans are too tight to wear. 

I think I’m going to start a petition to make all maternity jeans have belt loops. I’ll wear a belt low on my waist if it means I don’t have to hike my jeans up every thirty seconds. Also, they need pockets. 

Anyway, enough of wardrobe lamentations. On to the actual blog post. 

We found out we are having a girl! Beyond excited about that. Everything has been checking out good and healthy, and we’re neck deep in the struggle of choosing a name. Apparently I’m a modern gal who married an old soul. Our name tastes are so different. He’s also got to deal with my writer side, and endure all the weird literary names I come up with. 

Canning. Lots of canning. Tomatoes, apples, you name it. My house has been a sticky, delicious smelling dungeon all month. They’re talking we might have record snows this year. Gotta stock up on salsa and jelly if we’re going to survive. 

We chopped silage and Henry and I got to be the cook crew. Casseroles and cookies and Gatorade, oh my! 

It’s one of my favorite and most stressful times of the year. 

Henry has been loving having a friend over every day to play. I love it too, except for the weekends when Henry asks where Lige is every ten minutes. 

My sisters, Henry, and I went Junk Jaunting, which is like state wide garage sales. Henry made out like a bandit, with new tractors and a spring horse, and I found a few treasures for the house we’ll be moving into sometime this winter. (The bear did not come home with us.)

We watched lots of Husker football. We laughed, we cried. It was intense. 

October started off raining. And it hasn’t stopped yet. I so want to get outside and hang Halloween decorations, because as fun as Christmas is, I firmly believe the other holidays should be enjoyed first—looking at you, Hobby Lobby. 

We did start on decorating inside the house. I’ll save the really insane decor for closer to the week of Halloween. My mother in law will be staying with us during that time, so she’ll get to appreciate the full extent of my weirdness. 

Weather permitting, there should be more harvesting and cooking this month. Cooking for the harvesters is a little more low key than for choppers, since they eat in the tractor to harvest. Sandwiches and chips are a staple, though I try to mix it up with runzas and sliders. 

I’ll be hitting the third trimester, which is exciting and horrifying. It seems like this pregnancy has gone so fast. I don’t have anything ready. 

I got a bunch of awesome books last month and I’m hoping to read some of them. 

Last month I revised Blood and Dust like crazy, and I’m currently forty pages away from the end. That number will fluctuate as I cut and add scenes, but I’m getting close. I plan to have it done this month, and rewrite the synopsis, etc, to start querying and pitching in November. 

Speaking of November, October may or may not be a prep month for nanowrimo. Though I’ll for sure be a nano rebel if I do participate and work on editing Bad Boy or Mad Hatter instead of writing a whole new draft. I’m not super inspired on any of my new ideas currently, so I need to get those old ones done before they go too long and stagnate in the swamp of unfinished stories. 

How is your fall going? Do you love fall? Hate it? Love it but need a slower transition into the cold weather? I’d love to hear. 

Melancholy

First off, before I get started on the dismal stuff, I have a few announcements.

Today, Wednesday the 7th, I will be doing a guest post with Julia Witmer about ways to find inspiration.

Then, on Saturday the 10th, I'll be doing one with Abigayle at The Left-Handed Typist about ways to write a meaningful villain.

I'll post the link again on Saturday, but I wanted to let you know ahead of time in case I don't get to it right away.

Now, moving on to the depths of despair.

 

I've always liked this picture.

 First of all it intrigues me. It also makes me really sad for him. Because I'm certain his country used to exist, and it was great. Now it’s gone though, and no one remembers it.

But he does.

He remembers every glorious moment, still fresh in his mind, no matter how much time has passed, or how many other people forgot that there was once such a place.

 

I feel like that sometimes.

 Well, minus the top hat.

 I feel like I had a whole 'nother...nother...I literally just realized that the phrase "a whole nother" is not actually correct, and now I'm trying to remember what the proper word is.....another! 

 

 Let’s try this again.

I feel like I had another life before, and now it’s gone and no one else remembers it. I was struck with this mood a couple days ago whilst browsing Facebook.

You know, Jarod really might be on to something when he says it’s terrible.

I came across a picture of an old friend of mine. He doesn't post very often, so it’s always kind of a surprise when he comes across my feed, because I tend to forget he even has Facebook.

I looked at that picture, and I missed him.

 

 It just came on me so sudden, and I really couldn't even begin to explain why. This boy was my best friend through most of middle school, and junior high. We never were a couple, or even had a crush on each other. I didn't miss him like that. But it took me out for a whole day. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't exactly call Jarod and tell him I was depressed because I missed a boy I used to know. Even if we were ever only friends.

 

I tried to figure out what made me so sad about seeing that picture, and finally figured it out. It was a comparison shot. One picture was him as a little boy, the boy I used to know, and the other was him in his military uniform. I missed him because he didn't exist anymore. The boy I knew has changed, so much, and is now basically a stranger with some shared memories. That's what made me sad.

It's not to say that the person he is now is bad. Not at all. He's doing really well as a soldier, and he's proud of his country, and it’s great. So I'm not saying he's turned into something wrong. But he's just different. And I guess he has been for a long time.

He started as a smiley little boy who wanted his own dog so desperately, and would do anything to get on a horse, who gradually turned into a boy who saved all of his money to buy traps and a hunting dog, to a boy who climbed on bucking bulls for fun and bought pickups that were dangerously loud. He went from a boy I talked to on the phone or in person every single week, to a boy that went off to high school with other girls who weren't looking to be just friends. I changed too. It's hard to have a boy who's your friend, when you're in high school and you're expected to have a boyfriend. I understood. I never held it against him. I hope he didn't hold it against me. But it still hurts, even when you understand.

 

Now we're both all grown up and I can't actually remember when the last time I talked to him was. He's halfway across the country, and I'm here and married with the cutest little guy. I can't say I regret that those days are over, because I wouldn't trade the life I have now for all the childhood friendships in the world, but it's still kind of sad to remember all the fun times, because you know those aren't going to happen again, and maybe they didn't mean as much to the people you did them with, as they did to you. And you just go on being the king or queen of your own little country, and the world keeps turning around.