On Vague Tutorials and My Identity Crisis

Hey guys!

Monday I built Henry a slide.

It was sort of a funny story because we ordered the actual slide part knowing it didn't come with any stand or steps, etc. I asked Jarod if that was something he would be willing to build, and he said yes.

So then the slide actually came and I asked him when we could get started and he said I could build it. I had my reservations, since I don't build things, and it was my child that was going to be playing on the thing, but he insisted I could do it.

"Then when people come over you can tell them all about how you're the one who built it," he said.

And I thought, I'm not that vain.

Yet here I am, being that vain.

But anyway, have you guys ever noticed that when you look for a tutorial online for literally anything--hair, makeup, building projects--they all show a messy first picture. Maybe one picture in between, and then the finished product and the directions are just... this is what you need... we're not sure how much of all of that stuff you need, but whatever...it was super easy...just put it together...and you're done!

???

How is that teaching me anything?? If I knew how to just put together the super easy thing I wouldn't be on here reading your tutorial. Duh.

This right here could be a five star tutorial you guys.

• You need some 2x4's. Nine of them, eight feet long. Or something.
• And some screws. We used 3 1/2 inch ones.
• A tape measure is nice.
• Saw horses would have been nicer, but a chair and picnic table will work.
• Also, a circular saw. DONT CUT YOUR FINGERS OFF!
• A pen or marker.
• And my husband said I needed a square, and I tried valiantly to use it, and nothing really happened, so we'll mark that as optional.
• A drill and bits. Bits you don't like, preferably, because you could break two.

Awesome! So that's what you need, now on to how to actually do it.
 

Measure out your boards. We have no formula for this. Just do the math. Legs, braces, steps, platform, railing, etc, etc. This is elementary level addition here. 

Cut the scientifically measured boards.

Screw them together. But first, drill little holes slightly smaller than the screws, so you don't split the board. Once all your tiny drill bits break off in the boards, just screw the screws in anyway.

Use lots of screws so things are stable.

Measure.

Align.

Magic.

And viola!! A fully assembled slide! Your kids are gonna love it.

I hope you guys enjoyed my tutorial.

Be sure to subscribe, leave a glowing review, and five star rating.

Love you guys!

XOXOXOX

Can anyone relate to what I just said? I cannot be the only one who finds these ridiculously unhelpful reviews.

If I am, that's probably going to give me an identity crisis.

Even though I'm already having one.

When asked the question am I a dog or a cat person, I will always, always tell you dog. Hands down. My firm stance is that I'm mildly allergic to cats, don't really like them, but keep them around to keep the rodent population down.

This last month one of my two farm cats had kittens.

And I've been so excited. I strictly post pictures of Henry playing with them to save face, but rest assured I am totally excited.



Ronan, Adam, and Gansey

They're adorable. All boys, and named Gansey, Adam, Ronan, and Noah in honor of The Raven Boys.

Noah actually didn't make it, so...it's fitting considering the events of the book.

But you know, these kittens were thrust upon me. Their mother had them in the garage. I couldn't help it. It's not like I volunteered to be a cat person.

But last night I went to take Jarod a sandwich while he was out planting corn, and when I went to the hydrant to fill his water jug I heard desperate meowing. Now in the place where we were, there are never cats. It's not normal to hear cats there.

So I took him his water, and while walking back found this little gray and white kitten hiding in a bucket. She came right to me and I was like, "Ok, she's coming home with us."

Long story short, me and Henry spent the evening tracking down every lonely meow--through hayfields and prickly weeds--until we found all four kittens.
My guess is someone dumped them, because they were all scattered, and crying, very hungry, and relatively friendly.

They're at our house now. Loving life. Full bellies. And trying to get used to the dog and our current cats.

...
I'm a dog person, you guys. I AM A DOG PERSON!


So what about you? Do you have any tutorial nightmare stories? Or have you found any great ones?
Are you a cat or dog person, and which one are you really?