Down in the Dumps

                                         
I'm sorry I neglected you yesterday. I was busy, and honestly, not in any mood to write...I'm still not in a mood to write, but because I hate for little things like words to get the best of me, I'm doing it anyway.
I've heard a lot about the depressed writer, and the moment(s) where they're like "Ugh. My writing stinks and I'll never get it published and I should just give up."  I've never really had one of those moments. Usually I'm more like "This story sucks. It's gonna be a rip to edit."
But, it's actually happened. I've had that black, depths of despair moment happen in my writing this week.  I kind of feel like all my stories should really be used for tinder. No one will want to read them. Certainly not publish them.

                                                                    And I don't like it.
Nothing's coming out the way it should...actually nothing much is coming out at all. I just stare at blank paper and then decide to get on the internet so I feel like I'm at least wasting my time on a worthy cause.
I've decided to completely rewrite the beginning of my Dystopia story. My mom read the first thousand words and said it was The Hunger Games. I'm only in like three chapters, but still, that's a lot of words, and it kind of put a damper on me.
I decided maybe instead of working on all of them at once I'm going to try and just finish Blaze. Course, to finish something, you have to work on it. Haha.
Jake's story just isn't turning out magical for me. My characters aren't listening. The plots are falling flat.
                                                                                
                            AND I've discovered that I suck at writing emotion. Yeah.
Reading through my stuff, it has come to my attention that my characters are pretty good at getting mad, and have a pretty dry sense of humor, and that is the extent of their emotions. I don't do the internal emotions and thoughts reveal well at all. I know what they're thinking and feeling, and I totally forget to write it down.
But it's not just a matter of making sure I write it down. Cause I don't know how to express it. (another personal attribute that has manifested itself in my writing. icky)
Even my go-to sad writing isn't working. I write poetry when I'm down in the dumps. This last week has been a pretty good example of down in the dumpsness. And I got some lines stuck in my head for a poem I want to write. But of the four, they sound like they belong in three different poems. They just don't fit together. But none of the poems are getting wrote in their entirety. I have this vague idea of a thought I want to convey to the reader, but I can't quite grasp onto anything solid with it.
But, don't worry about it too much. I'll get back at it and I'll have some more snippets for you all. I will rise up and beat the vile evil attempts on my life by writers block and bad moods.

                                                            But today is not that day.

So guess what?? I'm going to stop talking about it and tell you the good news. I've got a Tobias. His name is Four...that's uh, a new bottle calf to feed!! AND I laid down the law to my minions and told them that his name was Four. Minion 2 began to shove the law back at me but Minion one stepped in and said we'd name him Tobias and call him Toby. So peace was preserved.

                                                                 His name is Four.